I found myself yet again analyzing my own thoughts and abilities surrounding this weeks reading. It really is difficult to set aside assumptions and feelings to sort through the facts of a situation. Most times when we are faced with struggles in life, feelings are what drive our reactions. It has always amazed me how some people have such great coping skills and tend to be able to sort through the facts, seemingly unfazed and move down a new pathway, while others wallow in negativity and lose their ability to function.
Two years ago my husband and I were faced with some serious "rain" when he resigned from his teaching job after 10 years due to false accusations from a student. When faced with this I choose to leave the struggle behind and move forward because it was out of my control and I knew that. I came to terms with what was in front of us and chose to move on and accept it for what it was, a bump in the road. But for him he couldn't let go of the struggle and fought it for well over a year even after choosing to resign. He had lost so much he couldn't see past the negative of the situation. Like is says in the reading "when we dislike a situation, we tend to put all of our attention on how things should be rather than how they are" and when this happens we lose our power to act effectively. He lost his power to act effectively and it took a long time for him to discover that when one door closes another opens, but sometime we focus so hard on that closed door we fail to see the other that has opened for us.
For me the reading this week reinforces the importance of accepting things the way they are!
Your post resonates with me greatly. I am very guilty of having the "grass is always greener" syndrome with perhaps every job I've ever had. I always seem to be looking for the most perfect opportunity. You know, the magical job where everything is good all the time and nothing bad or negative never happens to anyone. As we know, those jobs don't exist. I often forget to focus on how things are, and often put it on how things should be. I liked that quote so much I used it as a facebook status.
ReplyDeleteIt took a lot of guts to put that post out there, so I commend you on that, and that you and your husband worked through this situation.
ReplyDeleteI think many people are taught from an early age to challenge everything, to question everything. Some people do, however, have a keen sense to cope and deal with things even when the situations get very adverse.
Jodi,
ReplyDeleteThe last comment you made is a quote of Hellen Keller that hangs on my refrigerator. It, too, is on my Facebook favorite quotes. It's always amazing to me how people handle adversity and cope differently with it. Such a factor of individuality; however, coping skills are an obtainable and healthy goal. You definitely took a risk making yourself vulnerable to the conversation of the events, it takes a lot of courage to discuss old wounds. I have definitely had an adverse experience that prompted me to realize that I would never become a victim, but rather work to make sure I was living a full life without bitterness and anger. That's when I purchased the magnet with that inspirational quote. Good for you and your husband for working through adversity.
Your blog speaks a lot of accepting situations and not being held down by the negativity.
ReplyDeleteI am not too familiar with the situation related to false accusations. This must have been a hard period to navigate through, especially considering the work we do with young learners. To add to this scenario, the truth does not run far! The emotional toll that these types of bumps in the road cause are hurtful, nasty and some of the lowest forms for attack one can do to an educator. This being said, it continues everyday.
I like your reference to the concept of 'one door closing and another door opening'. As I believe this to be true.
I can feel the pain you and your husband had been through. My husband was hurt by different situation and he couldn't get out from it for years too.
ReplyDeleteAfter watching Mark Gungor "The Tale of Two Brains" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCp4z2IIJNI, I understand why husbands can get stuck easily than wives (even Mark didn't present in that way...). Guys need to fix the particular box which was damaged and it's very difficult for them to put the box away if they can't fix it. Now I know we women are blessed because the complete wired brain can find a way out easier than guys. I hope this video will bring some smile to you and your husband.
Thank you all for the kind comments! I am an open book and do not feel it is necessary to conceal much for we all have faults and all deal with struggles and challenges and can learn from one another. I appreciate all your input. Thanks for the video a well!
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